I’ve been in a studio malaise, asking myself a barrage of questions “Why am I doing this? Why do I live in Nashville while doing this? What does it mean? Was I this crazy in grad school? Why continue?” I’ve, mistakenly, been trying to think a way out of this burdened condition. The expanse of uninterrupted time and working has taught me that this burdened condition is to be respected, and is natural. A writer here said “cheer up, it could last 5 years” and laughed. She seemed amused at my statement “this could be going on for 2 years”. The above interior goauches are titled from a bit of a letter from Robert Lowell to Elizabeth Bishop "I seem to spend my whole life missing you".
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